Rescue Humor

The Backstory

Perhaps you've seen the below piece online somewhere. It's been changed several times with other people taking credit... they'll change the species involved, they'll change the kids' names, they'll leave out a sentence or two, attempting to make it THEIRS. However, the truth remains, they are all plagiarists, they have violated my copyright and they have stolen MY piece.

A few definitions that apply:

Copyright:Copyright is a statutory or common law right of authors, artists, and developers (or other holders of a copyright) to publish their works, and to prevent others from copying their works. Infringement includes the unauthorized or unlicensed copying of a work subject to copyright. For example, Title 17 of the U.S. Code (which pertains to copyrights) defines the exclusive rights of copyright holders. There are also several provisions which create crimes for copyright infringement.
Copyright Infringement: 17 U.S.C. § 106
Sec. 106. Exclusive rights in copyrighted works
Subject to sections 107 through 120, the owner of copyright under this title has the exclusive rights to do and to authorize any of the following:
1. to reproduce the copyrighted work in copies or phonorecords;
2. to prepare derivative works based upon the copyrighted work;
3. to distribute copies or phonorecords of the copyrighted work to the public by sale or other transfer of ownership, or by rental, lease, or lending;
4. in the case of literary, musical, dramatic, and choreographic works, pantomimes, and motion pictures and other audiovisual works, to perform the copyrighted work publicly;
5. in the case of literary, musical, dramatic, and choreographic works, pantomimes, and pictorial, graphic, or sculptural works, including the individual images of a motion picture or other audiovisual work, to display the copyrighted work publicly; and
6. in the case of sound recordings, to perform the copyrighted work publicly by means of a digital audio transmission.
See also: Definition of Copyright Infringement
Plagiarism: "e the use or close imitation of the language and thoughts of another author and the representation of them as one's own original work "e
Satire:(as definied by Merriam-Webster)
1. trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly

I used to be involved with German Shepherd Rescue. My name and phone number were all over the internet, and calls came in all hours of the day and night from people looking to get rid of their dogs. One particular call stands out and that is a man who called from the waiting room in the hospital maternity ward at 1130 pm, fully expecting me to come and pick up his dog immediately, because his dog did not get along with children, and his wife was in labor NOW, and the dog couldn't be there when they got home with the baby. Huh? You had nine months to think about this one, and you decide NOW the dog has to go?

I tried to reason with the man, give him some information on getting the dog used to the baby, etc.. but he was insistent, and his mother-in-law had already informed him that the baby was not coming into the home while that dog was there.

I explained we did not take owner turn ins, but this man was insistent (and I did not take in his dog... have no clue where the dog landed in the end) and called again and again... always at horrible hours: 530 am, 12 midnight, and 8 am when he was getting ready to go get his wife and baby (and of course I was to blame for him not being able to enjoy his new baby because THE DOG was still there and I had not come and picked it up. *sigh*

That particular weekend I had received close to a dozen calls that were similar. It seems that there is some unwritten rule out there if you have a child, the dog must go. If you adopt a child, the dog must go. If you are moving into someone else's home and they have a child... your dog must go. And if you marry someone and THEY have children... the dog goes. I was fed up by the end of the weekend.

"Would they get rid of their child if it were the other way around? " I asked a friend. She laughed.

That night I wrote up the following piece. I sent it to three gals I was close to in rescue. Of course they laughed and agreed that is the way it sounded some times, and asked if they could send it on to others in rescue. I agreed, but said "just leave my name on it, I want credit!"

Little did I know that what I had written would go viral, and become an internet legend.

I've found this piece used for parrots, cats, horses. Agility dogs were used. Specific breeds of dogs. It's been changed to reflect moving instead of getting a specific pet. It was used in a newspaper ad. And NOT ONCE was I given credit. I find it on so many websites with "author unknown", that I think I may just change my name to "Author Unknown" (but you can call me Audie!)

I've been writing to webmasters when I see it on their site and requesting that they add the copyright info. Most do, and I make new internet friends because of the writing.

But I found this last night in a place that made me so angry, that I knew I had to do something to stop this. This piece was written in 1996, mind you. But in 2003 a woman sent this piece to a newspaper UNDER HER OWN NAME. The correct thing to do, would be to submit it as "Submitted by (name deleted), Author Unkown" but no, she sent it as WRITTEN BY (name deleted).

And why am I so angry? BECAUSE IT WON AN AWARD!

I am so honored! This newspaper chose MY little piece, born of frustration and anger at irresponsible pet owners as a"Golden Pen" recipient. But I didn't get the golden Cross Pen. The plagiarist did. Of course I wrote a letter to the editor correcting this.

UPDATE August 12, 2009:I received a letter from the editor of the paper saying they deleted the pages. Still no mention of when I will get my Golden Pen Award in MY OWN NAME! And quite honestly, I hope they do make this right the REST of the way by printing a retraction, crediting ME with the piece, and sending me my pen, dammit! (I do so love 10k gold Cross pens! )

I have received letters in the mail (my address remains the same over all these years!) from rescue groups and breed clubs requesting permission to use the piece in their newsletter... I always grant permission providing credit is given, and they usually send me a copy of their newsletter to boot.

So if you see this anywhere, in any form... know that it is NOT " Author Unknown " who wrote it.. it is mine.

Some of the funnier moments regarding this particular piece:

My sister forwarded it to me in an email one time, saying this reminded her of me. *sigh* Well, of course it did... I wrote it!
The person who posted it on Craigslist out here was turned into DYFS (Department of Youth and Family Services) for trying to dump her kids! I can only imagine THAT visit! Yes, DYFS did follow up... one of those moments I wish I could have been a fly on the wall to find out the poster did NOT have children, just 3 dogs!
it received an AWARD!!! But not in my name!
People STILL seem to think that if they change a few details in the story... moving instead of getting a puppy/cat, changing the children's names, changing dog to cat, bird, horse, whatever... that they can claim it as theirs. WRONG... again, see plagiarism and copyright infringement definitions, folks!
On one site it was listed with the following: Author Unknown, but if we knew who it was, we'd buy them flowers and candy Oh, yummy! Flowers and candy! Godiva, please, and I like pink or yellow tea roses, thank you very much!
On one site it is listed with the disclaimer: Tongue in cheek, please!
One site has it listed with the definitions for commitment and satire below it, just so people can figure it out (some can't...see number 1 on this list!)

More to come, I'm sure! In the meantime...here is the original piece: Desperate Help Needed

Updated: August 12, 2009

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